The Best Way to Use a Vibrator

A Person Holding a Blue Sex Toy

There’s no wrong way to use a vibrator, and it can be a fun addition to any sexual experience. Sex experts say it can increase arousal, inspire new explorations and conversations, open up the possibilities for sex with partners and even intensify orgasms.

Start by applying lube to your toy and your genitals. This reduces friction, which can cause discomfort.

Getting Started

The first time using your new vibrator may feel a little awkward. You might want to experiment with the various settings and speeds of your toy. It can also help to practice edging, or coming close to orgasm and backing off slightly until you build yourself up again. This technique will help you learn more about what your body is experiencing and increase your pleasure.

You will probably need a bit of lube, especially if your toy is made of silicone. Experts recommend using a water-based lube, as opposed to a oil-based one, because it won’t degrade the material. You should also read the user manual for your toy to familiarize yourself with how it works. Make sure to charge your sex toy before you use it, and remove the power supply after you’re done. Leaving it plugged in will cause it to conduct electricity and drain faster, and batteries can also corrode over time.

If you’re planning to use your vibrator with a partner, it’s important to set the mood right. Light some candles, play a sexy playlist or put on some erotica audiobooks, and maybe get dressed up in your most seductive nightwear. Then, get to know your toy by touching it gently on different areas of your body. Start off slow and work your way up to more sensitive zones, like the clitoris.

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Preparing for Sex

Whether you’re using your vibrator solo or with a partner, it can take time to get used to the sensation. Start off slow and make sure the toy is charged before you use it, Fleming says. It’s also a good idea to read the user manual to familiarize yourself with how it works, as different brands have their own settings and modes that can vary from one to the next.

For those who are a little nervous about their first experience with a vibrator, Stewart recommends getting into the habit of masturbating before turning on your toy to get accustomed to it. She also suggests experimenting with the various vibrations and speeds of the toy to see what feels best. And make sure to use lube, Fleming says. Not only does it feel good, but the mind associates wetness with arousal, she adds. And opt for a water-based lube, rather than silicone, to avoid degrading the toy or irritating your skin.

Once you’ve had some practice, try bringing the toy into your sex life with a partner, Fleming says. It may take some adjusting to the extra sensations, but it can be an exciting and rewarding way to play together. Remember, though, that there are many things besides your toy that can affect your pleasure, like the quality of your diet, sleep, and stress levels, so don’t expect your vibes to get you “turned on” if other factors aren’t working for you.

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Using Your Sex Toy

Depending on your toy’s design, it may have different settings with varying intensities, patterns and speeds that can target erogenous zones and help you discover new sensations. It’s important to read the manual and get familiar with it before you start using your vibrator with a partner (or alone).

Vibrators are great for increasing physical excitement, as well as helping people who struggle with orgasm to find the triggers that can bring on powerful orgasms. They can also be used for oral sex, penetrative sex or for other intimate experiences like arousal and masturbation.

When using a vibrator for masturbation, it’s important to follow the toy’s instructions, which typically include rinsing and sanitizing the toy after use. A dirty sex toy can cause irritation and potentially spread infections like bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections. It’s also important to always use a condom when sharing a vibrator between partners to protect against STIs.

You can also play around with your vibrator while masturbating to figure out what feels best as far as intensity, friction and speed. It’s also a good idea to try edging, which is the practice of getting close-close-close to coming, backing away and building yourself up again, Corrado says. This can be a very intense experience that can lead to incredibly orgasmic orgasms and increases one’s body awareness.

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Keeping Your Sex Toy Clean

Vibrators are an investment, so you’ll want to take care of them. Always wash your vibrator after every use to avoid irritation or bacteria buildup, especially if you use it with partners. Keeping your vibrator clean will also help it last longer, so make sure you store it in a case or a pouch to protect it from dust and debris. Cleaning instructions will vary based on the type of couples’ toy you have, but many come with a small cloth bag to use for this purpose; you can also find plenty of dedicated vibrator cleaners online.

Another important thing to remember: don’t be afraid to play with your toy. It’s possible that you and your partner will want to use it differently or at different intensity levels, and that’s totally okay. Just make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to safety and expectations.

Finally, lube is your friend—literally. Fleming and Stewart both recommend adding a good amount of sexy lube, since this will increase the sensations your toy delivers as well as make it a lot more fun for you and your partner.

When it’s time to play with your couples’ vibrator, try different positions and techniques, like reverse cowgirl or spooning. You can even use the toy to stimulate other erogenous zones, like your neck, armpits or inner thigh.

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