Using a vibrator with your partner can be more than just fun—it can lead to heightened sexual pleasure. But introducing sex toys into partnered sex can feel intimidating for some people.
It can be helpful to talk about using a vibrator before things get hot and heavy. It can also be good to have a lube like a water-based one on hand, as it helps reduce friction between the toy and your body.
Foreplay
Using a vibrator during sex is about stimulating different areas of the body, and foreplay is one of the best ways to get started. For instance, if you want to work up to clitoral stimulation, teasing and stimulating the surrounding area of the vulva can help increase blood flow to the area, making your experience more pleasurable when you do decide to go for it.
Don’t be afraid to use a vibrator on all parts of your partner’s body, either; the neck, nipples, balls, inner thighs, behind the ears, and even the perineum are all erogenous zones that can feel great with the right amount of vibration. Moreover, you don’t need to wait for climax to kick in to have fun with a vibrator during sex; it can also enhance the sensations of oral sex and cunnilingus.
When you’re first experimenting with foreplay and a vibrator, it’s important to have the right type of lubricant on hand. Depending on the material of your toy, you’ll need a water-based lube or a silicone formula to avoid damaging it. In addition to the proper lubrication, make sure the toy is clean and fully charged before starting play so that it’s ready when you need it. There are few things more of a disappointment than having a toy lose its juice just as you’re close to hitting the sweet spot.
G-Spot
Having your partner trail a vibrator along the small of your back is a great way to stimulate each other. It’s especially pleasurable if you switch back and forth with the device, sucking on your own nipples and then the other’s. This also increases blood flow to the entire vulva and makes for a fun massage and tease before you go for the clitoris, suggests luxury toy brand Lickerish Love.
When you’re ready to explore the G-spot, make sure the vibrator is fully charged. Then lube up and gently insert two fingers about an inch apart into the vagina, right where the vulva meets the front of the penis (it varies from woman to woman). You should feel a rough patch that feels different from the rest of the vaginal walls. “When you’re aroused, this area gets enlarged by 50%, and is what triggers orgasms,” Hirschman says.
If you’re a guy, try to find the spot on your own before showing him how, since it is uncharted territory for most men. Once you’ve found it, ask him to massage the G-spot in slow circles and then move it around in different caresses, like figure eights. This will increase the pleasure and may even lead to a full-blown orgasm, which is indescribable. Just remember that this is a new sensation for both of you and that frustration can spoil the mood, so keep the communication lines open.
Clitoris
Some people need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse. A vibrator can help provide a sensation that isn’t possible with the fingers alone, and many people find this to be highly pleasurable. Using the tip of a sex toy to massage the clitoral hood and the surrounding area with a little lube can be really exciting. A steady rub or a pulsing pressure can be a great way to stimulate this spot, and it’s also fun to play with different positions and intensities.
Many clitoral sex toys have the ability to be used for both external and internal stimulation, and a toy that is able to be inserted can provide an even deeper and more intense sensation. You can also use a vibrator to stimulate the clitoral hood during penetrative positions like reverse cowgirl or spooning sex, and it can be very exciting to try out these new feelings.
It’s important to communicate well with your partner when using a vibrator during sex, and it’s even better to be open-minded together so that you can learn more about each other’s pleasure points. If your partner isn’t interested in trying a vibrator, or if they feel that you shouldn’t be using one during sex, that can be a sign that they aren’t as interested in intimacy as you might think.
Back
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or want to spice things up for casual sex, don’t feel guilty about using a vibrator. If you’re worried about your partner feeling uncomfortable, just be open and honest with them about it. There are many types of vibrators to explore, including strap-ons and anal plugs that can add extra sensation during masturbation or during sex. Plus, many brands offer remote control toy options so you can play together.
Vibrators are great for introducing new areas of stimulation, especially if you’re an adventurous masturbater. If you’re new to butt play, try a vibrator with wings that curve around your shaft and can be pressed against the frenulum or any external spot that craves sensation. This toy also pairs well with oral sex.
Regardless of the toy you choose, make sure it’s made of nonporous material and can be easily cleaned between uses. This is important to avoid transferring bacteria and germs between partners. According to Planned Parenthood, washing a sex toy with mild soap and water can help reduce the risk of infection. It’s also a good idea to use condoms during sex to protect against STI transmission. Lastly, it’s best to stick with one or two toys, so you don’t overstimulate or become too familiar with the area.
