Men often have a narrow set of sexual pleasures. Vibrators can expand those boundaries and help them discover pleasure and orgasms they didn’t know they had.
While some research points to a stigma around male vibrators, most men use them with their partners during foreplay and intercourse. But many also use them alone during masturbation.
Start Slow
Trying out a new toy, especially if it’s your first time ever using a vibrator, can be intimidating. But you don’t have to go full-out right away! As with anything else, it takes a little bit of practice to get the hang of it.
The best way to get used to the feel of a vibrator is to run it across your body and touch different areas you like to be stimulated. Start with the parts furthest from your genitals and slowly work your way down, and don’t forget to try a couple of different settings!
If you’re unsure about what settings to use, many vibrators come with a variety of speeds and intensity options. And always remember to use lube—especially since the vibrations can rub against your skin and cause friction, which can be uncomfortable.
You can also experiment with masturbating yourself with a vibrator (it can be a great arousal tool, plus it’s something you can do alone or with your partner). Fleming says you can even use a ring-style vibrator on your cheek during oral sex to increase pleasure.
And if you want to explore prostate massage, a small, gentle vibrator with a curved side can work well. It can also help stimulate the G-spot, which becomes enlarged during arousal and can feel amazing.
Start with the Frenulum
Men tend to get a little more nervous about using toys to pleasure themselves, despite the fact that masturbation is perfectly normal and can actually help boost intimacy in partnered sex. The biggest reason for this is that most existing guides on the topic focus on female use of vibrators, and many straight men still have a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea of males with Fleshlights or other external vibrators.
As with women, a man’s sensitivity to vibration can vary greatly depending on anatomy, but most first-timers should start their experience with a penis vibrator with a little frenulum play. This narrow elastic bit of tissue runs between the shaft and head of the penis and is highly erogenous. It might take some time to find the right level of intensity and vibration pattern to stimulate the area, but once you do, lingering over it with a little foreplay can lead to orgasm.
Another option is to try a penis vibe with a loop attachment designed specifically for this type of stimulation. Slip one onto a classic wand vibrator, pour on some water-based lube and wrap the flexible attachment around the base of the dick. Then, with the toy running, slowly massage up and down and linger over the frenulum, and enjoy the feeling of the friction of the toy against the skin as it creates pinpoint vibration.
Start with the Nipples
Many people think vibrators are only for women, but vibrators can also be great for men. Vibrators for men are specifically designed with the male anatomy in mind and can be used to explore a wide variety of pleasure zones.
Men are generally more familiar with their own bodies than women and that can make them feel more comfortable using a vibrator, especially during oral play. For this reason, it can be a good idea for men to start with the nipples and stimulate them slowly and delicately at first, experimenting with different sides of the nipple and how the stimulation feels. Nipples can be highly sensitive and the nipple masturbation experience can be an intensely pleasurable one for men.
Once you’ve had some practice with the nipples, you can gradually increase your use of the vibrator to reach other areas of the body. Men’s penises can also be a source of pleasure and a lot of fun is to be had by stimulating the head and shaft and then working down toward the scrotum/balls.
Be sure to always use a good quality lube when using a men’s vibrator to avoid any friction and discomfort. A little lube can also help the toy’s motor work more smoothly and efficiently, allowing it to move at a faster speed. Always remember to remove the vibrator from the body when you are done and to clean it regularly to keep it in good condition.
Start with the Penis
The male penis is an extremely sensitive area that responds to vibration. While vibrators are typically associated with women, or vaginas, many men also enjoy them. A vibrator can be a fun way to spice up oral sex, but it can also be used in the clitoris and clitoral hood during penetration to heighten sensations and create anticipation.
If your man hasn’t used a vibrator before, or if he’s unsure how to use it, start him off with a ring vibrator (Trojan and Durex make some good ones). This is an easy-to-use vibe that simply slips around the penis. It’s small enough to be discreet and the pulsing is just right for him. If he finds this enjoyable, you can move onto the actual penis itself or other erogenous zones of the body such as the nape of the neck, lips, or inner thigh.
Just remember to always use water-based lubricant when using a vibrator and be sure to clean up afterward, especially between uses. Vibrators can transmit STIs, so if you’re sharing one with a partner, make sure to put it in a condom after each time you use it and replace the batteries. This will help prevent the build-up of bacteria and yeast that can lead to bacterial vaginosis or vaginal infections. Keeping communication open throughout the entire experience is key, as this will both increase enjoyment and allow you to learn about your partner’s sensitivity levels.
