Whether you’re planning to use a vibrator solo or with your partner, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, be sure to clean the toy frequently to prevent STIs (sexually transmitted infections) from spreading.
Vibrators feel ahhh-mazing on the clitoris and vagina, but they can also be used on the penis. Just make sure you use lube!
1. Get to Know Your Partner’s Body
When it comes to using a vibrator in a sexual way, men should aim to use the tool with purpose and confidence. It’s important not to rely solely on the vibration of the toy to pleasure your partner, especially during oral sex. It’s also important to make sure you always have lube on hand. This prevents uncomfortable friction from the vibrator’s coating and can add to the sensual experience.
It’s also a good idea to explore your partner’s body with the vibrator, as well as their erogenous zones. For example, if your partner loves nipple stimulation, try pressing the toy against their nipples or stroking them with a low setting to build up a rhythm of pleasure. Likewise, prostate stimulation is another great way to explore a body. You can do this with a toy like the Snug Plug 2, which provides easy and comfortable access to the prostate.
Just remember, always start on a low or moderate setting when exploring sensitive areas, such as the penis. It can be easy to go in too hard and quickly become uncomfortable.
2. Keep Communication Open
As with any new experience, it’s important to keep communication open. Bringing up vibrators during intimate conversation can be a great way to introduce the idea. Then you can both be on the same page about whether a toy is something you want to use together.
It’s also helpful to talk about any lingering anxieties about toys. For example, some women worry that their husbands will start to rely on vibrators more than them, while some men are concerned that their toys will feel impersonal or cold. These are normal fears but they’re not necessarily true. It’s more effective to frame the conversation in terms of the desire for increased intimacy, which is likely to be what both partners want, rather than a criticism of their current sex life.
Keeping the conversation open can also help you determine the best way to use a male vibrator for pleasure. For example, you can gently massage the anal area with a finger vibrator to get your partner excited for penetration and climax. Alternatively, you can insert a male vibrator with lubricant up into the penis to enjoy vibration and stroking sensations in the head, the underside of the frill (frenulum), or against the testicles.
3. Make It All About Him
As much as it would be amazing to have a toy that can get all of us orgasmic in a minute, we can’t forget that our partners need their own pleasure. Many men who have never used a vibrator may be hesitant to bring one into the bedroom for fear of being overstimulated or of losing control.
Instead of pushing a toy on them, Jenni Skyler, sexologist for adult retail giant Adam & Eve suggests, “Start with the less sensitive areas like the anus.” If they’re comfortable with it, try running the vibe gently around their nipples and clitoris. A little bit of teasing can lead to a lot of orgasms.
And don’t be afraid to try the cock area as well. Though it might feel weird at first, it’s actually incredibly sensual for some people. Just make sure to use a non-porous vibe (medical grade silicone, borosilicate glass, or metals like stainless steel) because a porous vibe can transfer bacteria that leads to STIs.
4. Be Purposeful
A vibrator is meant to enhance your pleasure experience, not replace it. That said, if you use one on your partner, it’s important to be purposeful about where you put the tool and not just randomly target their body for stimulation.
Using a vibrator on your partner’s clitoris can be incredibly satisfying for some people—provided it’s done right. This means starting with the lowest setting and spending a few minutes gauging how it feels, then building up from there. It also helps to add a little water-based lube before you press the toy on your partner’s taint, as this will make it even more comfortable and enjoyable for them.
For other sexual areas, consider using a vibrator on the area between your partner’s butt cheeks (the perineum) or their neck. These areas can be more sensitive than the clitoris and provide different levels of pleasure. Just remember that if you’re using a vibrator on these areas without wearing a condom, you could be exposing them to STIs and other infections. That’s why it’s crucial to follow the rules of solo sex—washing and sterilizing your sex toys regularly.
5. Don’t Forget the Lube
Some people believe that vibrators are solely for women, but the truth is that men use them just as much. It’s not a sign of weakness or that they can’t reach orgasm without a toy, and it’s a great way to spice things up.
Just be sure to use body-safe lube before using a vibrator, like the ones made by We-Vibe. And remember, just because you’re using a vibrator with your partner doesn’t mean that you should forgo using condoms. STIs can be transmitted through the same device used between multiple partners or on different body parts like the vagina and anus, so make sure to clean it after every use or put a condom over it.
Getting in the habit of masturbating regularly can help you become more familiar with your body’s responses and sexual preferences. Adding a vibrator to your masturbation routine can be fun and exciting, but always remember to keep communication open and use it for pleasure, not to punish or control. For some extra sensations, try pressing the toy against your taint or the perineum for tingly sensations that can get really hot.
