Whether you’re trying to cum with a vibrator or want to increase the intensity of your climax, there are plenty of things you can do. You can experiment with different positions, vibration patterns and pressure.
You can also try stroking the labia or clitoris. Up-and-down, circular and tapping strokes are all great — the most important thing is to get acquainted with your body.
1. Get in the mood
Vibrators are a staple in many women’s sexual toolkits, and they’re great at triggering orgasms. Many couples also find that using vibrators together reduces the ‘orgasm gap’ between partners. For this reason, it’s important to try out different techniques and ways of using a vibrator with your partner.
But, like any other pleasure toy, vibrators can get a little boring when used the same way all the time. Using the same technique over and over can lead to vibrator fatigue and boredom – which can even affect how well you orgasm when you use your device.
If you want to spice things up and boost your orgasms, try using some lube (we love Lelo’s Pure) and experimenting with different pressure and intensity levels. You can also use the gentle teasing technique, which involves applying the tip of your vibrator to the bottom of your vagina and then slowly dragging it upwards towards your clit. This is especially effective when you add a bit of friction, like with some licking or finger-play. This will help build up to a crescendo that’s sure to blow your socks off!
2. Start with the vagina
Unlike other sex toys, vibrators are essentially penis-shaped and designed to enter the vagina. Start by stroking the tip of your toy on the outside of your labia and clitoris with feather-light contact. You can also try stroking in different directions—up-and-down, side-to-side, circular—to find what your body responds best to.
After you’re comfortable with this, ask your husband to put the vibrator inside your vagina. He can gently run it up your labia, circle your clitoris but don’t touch it (it turns out many women find indirect clitoral stimulation even more arousing) and then push the toy down to the bottom of your labia.
This step is especially important if you have a condition called vaginismus, which can make it hard to penetrate. If you experience this, speak to a doctor or sex therapist for advice. You can also try masturbating with non-vibrating sex toys or a lower-powered vibrator. If you still don’t get the orgasms you want, consider trying a different toy or increasing your lube use or masturbation duration.
3. Try teasing
Many women find that direct contact with their clitoris feels uncomfortable or even painful. That’s why it’s important to experiment with other ways of using a vibrator, especially when you first start out.
For instance, you can use it to lightly touch other sensitive erogenous zones like the nipples or inner thighs (sex toys made just for this purpose are also available). You can even gently run your vibrator up and down your labia and vulva to get a feel for how it stimulates these areas before you try touching your clitoris directly.
Another option is to have your partner apply the vibrations to other parts of your body while you stroke them. Many women find that their neck, lips, stomach, and the inside of their elbows respond well to the sensations produced by a vibrator. If you’re ready for something more intense, you can also use a clit-enhancing toy known as a blowjob sleeve. These sleeve-like devices have different textures and patterns on the inside to add extra pleasure. Just make sure to use a good quality lube.
4. Move to the penis
If you’re not getting orgasms from your clitoris, try moving the vibrator down south to your penis. Vibrators are great teasing toys, and most men like being teased. You can use a smaller, more portable toy (like the MYHIXEL Control vibrator ($199; ), which comes with an anatomically realistic penis stroker) or a larger vibrator like the Magic Wand to get started.
Or, you can use a medical vibrator that’s designed for prostate or anal play (the area of rough skin between the testicles and anus). Some people also like to stroke their penis with a toothbrush or anal beads for an additional sensation.
Whatever you choose to do, it’s important to communicate with your partner about how it feels. This way, you’ll both learn what feels good and how to work with the sex toy. And remember to clean the vibrator between uses to reduce the risk of STI transmission, advises Planned Parenthood. Washing it with soap and water or using a sex toy cleaner made for vibrators is the safest option.
