Many factors can contribute to lack of sex in marriage. Medical conditions like diabetes and cancer, and even aging, can impact sexual desire.
Unresolved sexual trauma can also negatively affect a spouse’s desire for intimacy. Often, couples can work through these issues with sex therapy. But some situations are more serious and require professional help.
1. Loneliness
The lack of sex in marriage can have a profound effect on the emotional intimacy of a couple. Partners may find themselves less intimate in other ways, such as hugging or holding hands. This can make them feel distant from one another and increase their sense of aloneness. If a person feels isolated and unloved, they can begin to feel bitter and hostile towards their spouse. In the worst-case scenario, this can lead to one of them looking outside of the marriage for a sexual outlet that will bring back their mojo.
While sex is important to many couples, it does not define their marriage. In fact, the right level of sex in a marriage is determined by two people—not society or experts. This can change over time, as needs shift and as life events take place. Often, the decrease in intimacy is caused by outside factors such as work, children, or exhaustion.
The lack of sex in marriage can also be a result of unresolved issues in the relationship or psychological problems. For example, a spouse who suffers from unresolved trauma in their past may develop a negative association with physical intimacy, which can lower their libido. In addition, excessive stress can cause a person to feel exhausted and depressed, which can also affect their libido.
2. Depression
Sex is often a release of emotional baggage, and when it doesn’t happen, one or both partners can become depressed. Depression can also affect a couple’s ability to connect emotionally, which can lead to problems in their marriage and in their relationship with each other.
Another common effect of lack of sex is frustration. This can be due to either partner losing interest in sex or one person having a lower sex drive than the other. Frustration can lead to resentment, which can further strain the relationship and impact intimacy.
Frustration can also result from a spouse who feels they’re not being met sexually and begins seeking outside sources to satisfy their needs. This can be a major problem for the marriage because it can lead to infidelity and jealousy.
Physically, sex can help to alleviate stress and anxiety and improve the immune system by releasing endorphins. However, when couples don’t experience this combination of pleasure and pain together, they can start to feel a void in their relationship and may become irritable or angry.
External factors such as work pressure, financial issues and medication can also impact a couple’s ability to be intimate. Addressing these issues and communicating openly can help couples reignite their passion for each other and strengthen their emotional bond. Seeking professional help is also an option to uncover any underlying causes of their problems.
3. Emotional instability
Many things can cause a lack of sexual intimacy in marriage. It is not always a sign of underlying problems, such as health issues or busy schedules. However, if other forms of emotional and physical intimacy are dropping off, that could be a sign of trouble.
Many couples find that when sex isn’t a regular part of their lives, they tend to have more arguments about other aspects of their relationship. They may start fighting about the small things, like how they’re not touching enough. This can cause a strain on the entire marriage, and it’s important to address these issues head-on before they get out of control.
In addition, couples who don’t have sex often feel less satisfied with their marriage and life in general. This can lead to depression and other health concerns.
If a spouse discovers that they are the reason there is a lack of sex in their marriage, they should seek out counseling to help them resolve the issue. In the meantime, they should pray for forgiveness and grace to continue loving their spouse despite the issue (James 1:2-4). They should also ask God to reveal any underlying sin in their marriage so that they can deal with it. They should be willing to work through the problem, even if it’s hard.
4. Stress
Often, lack of sex in marriage is caused by unresolved issues in the relationship. This can be the result of stress from work, children, financial problems, or other factors. Couples who experience this problem tend to have trouble communicating with each other about their feelings. This can lead to resentment that affects the entire marriage.
When couples are under a lot of stress, both partners can have low libido. Some medications and illnesses can also reduce a person’s desire to be intimate. Having open conversations about this problem with your partner can help you find solutions that will increase your intimacy again.
Some couples who have a low libido opt for other forms of intimacy besides physical. This can include travel, engaging in hobbies together, and even simply talking to each other more frequently. While this may not be as physically intimate as sex, it can still be a way to grow closer to your spouse and build up your emotional connection.
It’s important to remember that every marriage is unique, and there is no right amount of sex. If both partners are happy with the current amount of intimacy they have, there is no need for concern. However, if one partner is unhappy with the lack of intimacy, then it’s important to find solutions to make the marriage more fulfilling.
