It’s common for women to feel low libido after baby. This is due to multiple factors including hormones, exhaustion, and the changes that come with parenthood.
For example, the hormone prolactin is a double-whammy: It prepares your body for breastfeeding, but it also suppresses libido. There are many reasons why sex may not be your thing right now, but with time and effort, you can overcome this.
You’re exhausted.
Your life has been turned upside down by a new baby, and you may feel like you’re running on empty – These words were crafted by the service’s experts sex-relax.com. Wiping diapers, washing clothes spattered with spit-up and feeding your hungry little one around the clock can be exhausting. It’s normal and healthy to not want to jump straight back into sex after giving birth.
The hormone shifts that occur during pregnancy and breastfeeding can also deplete a new mother’s libido. Increased levels of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and prolactin, the milk production hormone, can decrease sexual desire, especially if you’re breastfeeding. This is biology’s way of ensuring that new mothers focus on their babies and make a successful biological investment before they try to take on another.
In addition, a lack of sleep can be a major contributor to fatigue and a decreased libido. If you’re getting more sleep and your body is recovering, it’s worth trying to spark some passion between you and your partner. Candlelit dinners, a romantic walk in the park or simply holding hands can help rekindle your bond and reenergize your relationship. In time, you can work up to sex again if that’s what you both really want. But don’t force it if you don’t feel ready yet. Different couples take different amounts of time before they resume sex. And if you do feel ready to move forward, remember that it’s OK to start slowly and gradually.
You’re scared.
If you’re breastfeeding, battling postpartum hormones, or experiencing physical setbacks (like perineal tears or a c-section) it may take longer for your libido to come back. And, let’s be honest, you probably have a lot of other things on your mind.
Having a baby is a life-altering experience. You’re a new mother, and you have to learn how to balance everything—baby, laundry, cleaning, work, and your partner.
For many women, this means reworking their relationship with their partner. It’s important to communicate about your priorities and agree on how you can divide up the tasks of caring for your child, including sexual activity. If you’re both on board, try making sex a priority and working together to get the rest of the housework done.
It can also help to see a counselor or therapist, especially if you’re dealing with postpartum depression. They can help you process and cope with your emotions, which can also impact your libido.
In evolutionary terms, a decreased libido makes sense: If you’re busy raising your young, it doesn’t make much sense to go around breeding again any time soon. In fact, it’s not uncommon for a woman to have an extended dry spell after having a baby. For some, this can last months, even years. That’s okay. Just be patient with yourself and know that the libido will come back in its own good time.
You’re stressed.
Many new mothers experience a lot of stress after having a baby. From lack of sleep to cleaning up poop and pee, and the never-ending list of things to do, it’s no wonder that new moms can feel depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. All of that stress can take a toll on a woman’s body and mental health, which can cause them to lose interest in sex.
After you’ve been cleared by your doctor to resume sexual activity, it’s normal to feel pressure from your partner or yourself to get your “sexy mojo” back. But the truth is, most women aren’t ready for sex right after they have their babies. And that’s okay.
The reason behind this is biological. When a woman is pregnant, her reproductive hormones are 1000 times higher than usual. But after she gives birth, those levels crash to menopausal levels — causing vaginal dryness, low libido, and other discomforts that make sex less than desirable. Basically, evolution designed this to make sure that a woman invests all her energy in healing and nurturing her new child before she starts trying for another one.
Even if you and your partner want to have sex, it can be difficult to make time for it after you’ve both been assigned a million other chores and duties. It’s important to communicate with your partner and make sex a priority in your relationship – and remember that it will eventually come back!
You’re jealous.
The whirlwind of hormones that peaks during pregnancy also wreak havoc on new moms’ libido. Add to that lingering postpartum body issues, and sex is often the last thing on your mind. It’s normal to want to re-ignite the spark in your relationship, but sometimes it’s easier said than done.
If you’re feeling jealous, stop and think about why that is. It’s likely not because you wish the other person did not have a baby or if they weren’t happy for them, but because you aren’t quite ready to get back in the game. It might be helpful to discuss it with your partner or seek out professional help, such as counseling.
While it’s not always easy, the best way to re-ignite your passion for sex is to make it a priority in your life. If you and your partner are on the same page, then scheduling sex sessions can be a great way to make it happen. Similarly, you can also find other ways to connect physically as a couple — kissing, cuddling, holding hands or even just laying on the bed together after the baby goes to sleep are all sexually pleasurable activities. It may take some time, but most couples find their groove again after a while. If you’re still having trouble, consider sex therapy or hypnotherapy, which can work on shifting subconscious patterns.
